How to Teach Your KIds to Appreciate Money by Scott Stolz (week 18)

 

Last week my daughter got married in D.C. to mark yet another milestone.  Now that both of my kids are married, it kind of feels like another of my jobs is now done.  Between my retirement 4 months ago and the wedding, that’s a lot of change in a short amount of time.  

It was a great weekend all around.  Both the welcome reception the night before the wedding and wedding itself were spectacular.  Best of all there were no unexpected hiccups and very little drama.  And to answer your question, yes, I did cry.  But in my defense, I was totally set up.  They now do a first look for the father.  They made me stand outside the hotel with my eyes closed and then had Kim come stand beside me.  They made me wait a full minute before they let me turn around.  By that point, I had no chance to hold it together.  She looked so amazing and so grown up.  And yes, there might have been a tear or two when I walked her down what was a very long aisle at the church.

Anyone that has been to a formal wedding over the last 5 years knows how much they have changed since my generation was getting married.   Back then you just needed a venue with a decent band, tolerable food and a keg or two.  Now you have to worry about dietary preferences, what type of bourbon to serve, what will be your special wedding cocktail(s), what your end of wedding snack will be, etc.  The list goes on and on.   With that complexity comes more cost – a lot more cost.  This can be a challenge if you are also trying to save for retirement. 

But I have to say that I’m proud about how my daughter managed the expenses.  I’m going to take some credit for that.  When both of my kids were young, I came to realize that they had little appreciation for money.  I had given them no reason to care.  I therefore put them both on a salary.  I estimated how much we were spending on them each month and then reduced that by 20%.  I then gave them that amount in cash on the first of each month and instructed them to never ask either myself or their mom for money ever again.    You can find all of the details on this plan by going to the "Shared Wisdom" tab at the new website www.thesagehub.com I would encourage you to subscribe to this website.  It will post great advice from many contributors on a wide range of topics.  And reach out to me directly if you want to be one of the sites contributors.

The bottom line is that my desperate need to change the narrative about how my kids viewed money caused me to stumble across a solution that continues to pay dividends today.  While my daughter’s wedding was far from cheap, I was proud of how my daughter made sure that she maximized the benefit for every dollar that was spent.  The end result was a wedding we will never forget.