What I Miss Now That I'm Retired, by Scott Stolz, CFP, RICP (week 35)
This past weekend I had dinner with a former business
associate. Amongst other things, he
asked me what I missed now that I’m retired.
That question gave me pause. When
you retire, you mostly focus on the things you now have time to do that you
couldn’t do while working. I hadn’t
really thought much about what I missed about working.
One answer did come immediately to mind. I missed the people I worked with. Many of them became, and continue to be, good
friends. While I still see them occasionally,
it’s just not the same. And it’s more
than just a friendship. We worked
together towards common goals. We were a
team and we had each other’s backs. We
took great pride in the service we provided to our clients each day. And we all benefited from our success. We were in it together. That’s virtually impossible to replace once
you retire. I get some of that same
feeling in my softball league. We too
are a team. And now 50 games (yes, you
read that right) into the season, we have come together and we support each
other. But it’s not the same. It’s still just a game. Lives aren’t being materially altered like
they could be in the workplace. I just
don’t get the same level of satisfaction.
And that leads me to the second thing I miss most. What I did each day made a real difference in
people’s lives. Not only for the people
I worked with, but for the financial advisors we served and the clients they
served. I know with certainty that a lot
of people’s lives are better because of what my team and I did each day. A 2024 Transamerica survey found that 27% of
retirees struggle to build new routines outside of work that feels meaningful (10
Facts About the Financial Fragility of Retirees in the Post-Pandemic Economy). I wouldn’t say I’m struggling with this. But I do miss it.
I miss being relevant in my industry. I spent over four decades building
relationships, influencing events, and pushing objectives. While I’m not yet irrelevant, I am certainly
less relevant. That’s just the way
things are. Once you have less
influence, people are naturally less motivated to seek you out or answer your
call. There will likely be a day that no
one reads this blog because other’s opinions will matter much more than mine (hopefully,
that day hasn’t already arrived, but I just don’t know it). Of course this is not all bad. I now have the freedom to pick and choose
what I work on – even if that’s nothing at all.
The question of what I miss leads to the question of what I
don’t miss now that I’m retired. In no
specific order, I don’t miss checking my calendar each night before I go to bed
to see what time my first meeting is. I
don’t miss setting an alarm clock each morning (unless I want to). I don’t miss budget season and IT Priority
Steering Committee meetings. In fact, I
don’t miss meetings in general – especially Zoom meetings. I don’t miss commuting to and from work –
although I do miss going into an office (a little). I don’t miss the seemingly endless number of
compliance and legal rules that exist in today’s financial services
industry. I could never write this blog
if I was still working. If I tried, any
column would take weeks to approve and would be pretty much useless once it was
sanitized.
At the end of the day, everything is a trade-off. There are positives and negatives with every
decision we make. But as I enter month
nine of retirement, I can safely say that the positives heavily outweigh the
negatives.
Scott, I’m just a few months ahead of you on the retirement journey. The “relevance” issue is one I thought about a lot at the beginning. My phone (or text, or e-mail) stopped ringing as often. And it’s easy to equate that with lack of relevance. My somewhat evolved take is it’s just a change in relevance. I now have the time to make more outgoing calls. Those calls, even though often with former colleagues, now often have a very different tone - I’m not trying to get anything from them or vice versa. We can have conversations as true friends. We might be talking about work, but if it is, it’s about how I can help or advise my colleague on an issue. It has given me more time and appreciation for talking to my adult sons (in their 30’s) with whom I speak (or visit) multiple times a week. It’s given me more time to read - not just what’s scrolling across my Bloomberg terminal, but things that inform and modify at the margin the way I think. And yes, for sure I miss seeing my work colleagues every day…but I also have found that if you nurture those relationships, years could pass, but when you do speak or meet, it’s as if no time passed at all. Another way I manage the “relevance” issue is to ponder why I need to be relevant. I had my days in the spotlight, and now I have had the opportunity to pass that privilege to the next generation of leaders. As you have already noted in your excellent blog posts - it’s all about framing.
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